Carter's Birth

I was dilated to a 2 and efaced 80% for about two weeks. I was induced 4 days early due to persistent migraines. We went into the Dr. office on Monday and they made an induction appointment right then and there. Kade and I went home, knowing we'd be heading the hospital in just 10 hours. Tuesday, Oct 15th we woke up pretty early. Kade gave me a preisthood blessing (actually for the very first time). It was... AMAZING. At that moment, I had never felt more love from Kade before. Since then, he has shown even more love as he has become an amazing dad! 

We drove the hospital about 7am and got Kneaders for breakfast on the way there. Kade laughed at me for getting a big cinnamon roll and a hot chocolate. I know, healthy right? haha :) We checked in, LDS hospital wasnt busy at all. I just told them my name and they took me to a delivery room. The room was HUGE, very luxurious. The nurse had me get in to the gown and lay in bed. The gown was SO gross...lol. I was temped to buy my own birthing gown (cute ones on Etsy.com but were $50! yikes) ...so i wore their nasty one haha. I felt like i was 300 lbs in that thing. The nurse started the IV - the most painful part of my entire labor and delivery! The tubing in my  hand went all the way down to my wrist IN my vein and hurt SO bad to move my hand at all. That sucked during pushing. 

So... the iv goes in and they start fluids first to get me all hydrated. At 8:30am ish they started the pitosin drip, the hormone that makes contractions happen. Most people experience much harder contractions a short while after the drug starts dripping. Me, Kade and my mom waited and watched the contractions on the monitor... but they didnt get painful. They got closer together, as we could see on the monitor. It was so nice to SEE that. I could feel that they were happening, but not painful. The wonderful nurse, Shannon, came back every 30 min to help me adjust my position and switch to the other side (laying on my side in bed), she also upped the amount of pitosin going in. She told me that the ok amount of pitosin to give is 20 units. She started me off with 2 and then went to 4 then to 6 then back down to 5. The contractions got closer together- per doctors instructions, the nurse had to find the right amount of units to get my contractions at 3 min apart. It was SO nice to just sit there and lay down. It felt SO restful. YES restful during my active labor! UNTIL nurse came in to check my cervix. THAT was the very worst feeling ever ever ever ever! Worst than sharp pain. I was knocked down so hard with that. I thought I was tough till that moment. ... and I was still dilated 2. The drug causing contraction was doing just that.. but wasnt helping the cervix. 

I very much enjoyed the popcicle :) it was the BEST tasting thing i'd ever had! hahahaha.

The man with the epidural came in (since he wasnt busy) and offered to administer my epidural. I said "sure why not". I knew I would want one, though I hadnt even felt any pain yet. He had me sit crossed legged on the bed and position by back in a way that I was very familiar with - thanks to pilates :) I held very still and he STABBED me with is pen. The marking he put on my with his pen was the only uncomfortable part about receiving the epidural. He put a lot of tape on my back to hold it there ... haha. Kade was very smart to go sit far away while the needle/tube went in my back. He didnt watch or even try to -because we wanted him to stay conscious :) Nurse and anesthesiologist told me several times how GREAT of an epidural i got because I was able to bend and lift my legs. It was nice. I didnt feel invalid at all!  

Nurse came and checked my cervix again, about a 3...  didnt even feel a thing when she did that. It was SO nice to not have to feel that awfulness, thank you epidural! An on-call doc came in and broke my water after that. I didnt feel that either. Nor did I feel the "wooosh!", my water just slowly leaked out, not too exciting. The contractions were coming along great! Nurse had to adjust the pitosin a few times because contractions would get too close then not close enough haha... hard to find that sweet spot. All the while, my baby's heart rate wasnt affected! YAY! good baby! wasnt stressed by the harder contractions. I was very pleased at that. 

I enjoyed laying around most the day just chatting with my mom and husband. I loved that, and seeing the progression on the screen. I eventually did feel a couple contractions that were pretty intense! I think around 3:30pm, shannon checked me agian and I was a 6! SUPER exciting that it was finally getting somewhere. I remember being really giggly and hot. 30 min later, nurse came in and she said "yup baby's head is RIGHT THERE"! I couldnt believe it! She said I could reach down and touch him if i wanted to. But... I didnt. haha. Shannon called Dr Macy and let her know to come over now. Macy said "dont push yet" and that was totally fine. I didnt feel any pain, or the urge to push. Shannon prepared me by teaching me how to push. 

Dr Macy called and said she was 5 min away and we could start pushing. Pushing wasnt anything like what you see on tv. Also, not like anything I had prepared for. I'm a pilates girl and I thought pushing a baby out would be like pilates breathing. Nope. She had me take in a big breath and HOLD IT IN - very very foreign to me. But it worked, yay. anyway.. mom and kade were on both sides of me helping me hold my legs up. I felt super good about myself that i was strong enough to hold my legs MOSTLY by myself and flexible enough to have them way high and wide (like the nurse said to do). We went 45 minutes pushing 10 seconds with a holding breath. I could really FEEL when a push was effective or not. I could definitely feel him coming down further and further. The last 3 pushes were so hard. Pushing was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done! Baby had a bit of an alien head from hanging out in the birth canal a little while. During one of the last couple pushes, my mom shook my shoulder and said "look look!" I opened my eyes while pushing, it was all a blur, my eyes couldnt focus and i couldnt see anything anyway. I moved the gown that obstructed my veiw. I saw just the very very tip of his head and I got ALL the motivation in the world to get this job done! I wantd to have him and see him  and hold him!!! Next push he finally came out, it was the coolest feeling EVER!! That big WOOSH like I was a 200lb water baloon that just got popped haha! 

The moment he arrived, Dr Macy said "what a chunker"! as she held him up, he cried, I cried. Seeing him... i INSTANTLY started bawling! He immediately went right to my arms. I was so tuned out of everything around me. I vaguely remember Nurse covered him with a blanket.him being wiped off, doc stitching me, my mom taking pictures... what is clear in my memory was his beautiful wide eyes looking right at Kade and I. Kade was right by myside as we held little Carter. That exact position he laid, is his go to now everytime :) 

first family photo

The rest of the story hardly matters :) That first family photo is the result of all that work. We had a baby. We created and brought that little boy into this world and it was the very best day of my life. THAT moment was the one I had always wondered if it would trump the love I felt on our wedding day. The love between me and Kade was so much more than what we felt getting married. Back then we were just getting in the water... but THIS day, we were well in the deep end :) Real love just keeps growing. 

first phone pic :) 

Mom took pic of me taking a phone pic. Carter stared up at daddy, so adorable! 

 just a few min after birth

8 lbs 1 oz

getting his first shot, daddy never left his side

The after math.... well, Dr was sewing me up when they took baby to go get the shots and the eye goo. That's when I returned to reality. This pic above is the view from my bed, of course I couldnt take my eyes off my boys :)   ... and then i felt the tugging of the stitching. OUCH! Doc numbed me with a local to finish the job. I had no idea I had even torn at all till that moment. That made me very happy that I didnt know about the tearing. That would have been hard for me to continue pushing. Macy finished up and then the nurse took over. She pushed on my stomach SO HARD, ugh it was really really really close to the pain of having teh cervix checked! PUKE! When she was done, I took my hand on my belly and pushed in... further and further and futher till i touched my spine! SO COOL! Didnt hurt. Just felt like i was sticking my hand in a big ball of bread dough, haha! I sat up and nurse ripped the tape off my back. Felt like a WHOLE back waxing. That was the only moment I yelled in pain. I almost scooted myself right off the bed! I nursed baby for the first time before getting out of that bed. WOW WOW WOW THAT HURT. Wasnt expecting it to feel quite so terrible, but baby latched perfectly so i was very happy! Plus, it was just the cutest damn in thing in the world to see him nurse! Is that weird?! its awesome :) haha ... Kade and Shannon helped me put on my yoga pants and nursing tank. I stood up (with them holding me, afraid I'd fall over) and sat in the wheel chair to be taken to our room. 

As the nurse wheeled me down the all way heading to our room, baby in my arms, she said "this is for you little Carter". The nursing staff played a luluby on the overhead speakers. That was my first overwhelming proud mamma moment. It was so powerful! I felt like a prom queen on the back of a convertible, driving into the football stadium. I held my boy and listened to the song that announced his arrival. I teared up. I looked down at him and felt so proud of the work I had done to get him here. 

Kade has been the most amazing husband and father! He does EVERYTHING I could ever need him to do for me and is very attentive to Carter. The first night in the hospital, he got up every time baby cried and soothed him, letting me sleep. 

that is the position he laid in when he first went to my arms. Told ya, its his go to now :) 

made that shirt for kade and gave it to him in the hospital :) 

first outfit :) 

??? days till baby

6 days till due date...
But Carter could be here tomorrow (depending on a few medial tests we'll be doing). I am sentenced to rest till then. We are 100% ready and SO SO excited!!



KADE did a GREAT job on the nursery :) I am so happy!

C'mon Carter....

They say... when you have the baby, you forget ALL the hell you went through to GET that baby here. I don't see how that is possible (yet). Right now I'm thinking "it's going to take an accident to get me to do THIS again". Haha...

But I can't forget to note the fun little things that I do WANT to remember :)

During the 7th and 8th months of pregnancy, Carter would get his little foot in my side and it would tickle SO bad! Haha! I would laugh out loud in the middle of ANYTHING I was doing! Its so weird feeling this little person moving inside you! I can easily feel where the feet are and where the elbows move. He's been in the same position most of the 3rd trimester.

A funny thing that I probably will not miss... is driving with this big belly :) I have an awesome sports car with really deep bucket seats, and of course it's a manual transmission. Well... sometimes I have to pull over and just WAIT because baby will hit a nerve in my pelvic area that makes my legs go numb - I literally cannot shift! Hah! It's crazy!

Sleeping of course, doesn't happen. But I do enjoy when Carter is way too active that late at night- Kade will put his hands on belly and baby will simmer down immediately! It's amazing- pure magic!

Kade and I have had a running joke about Carter approving of this or that... it started when I asked Carter to confirm "don't you agree? kick twice for YES". Since then everything he kicks twice, we know he agrees. Haha :) its fun!

I often feel like there is a rhinoceros in my belly!!!! Carter has his right foot in the middle of the top of my belly almost always. His left foot is regularly lodged into my right ribs. When he stretches, I get this BIG obvious bump right in the middle of my belly on top. Rhino! Sometimes is SO bad, I have to literally push him back down. Today, he's about 6.5 lbs... way too big for this little belly :)

Carter gets hiccups just as frequently as I do :) ... about four times a day, or more. But his last a while, poor guy. THAT movement is the only movement I really enjoy. Small, rhythmic pulses that let me know he's alive and well without KILLING ME. Most of the time I feel like Belle from Twilight, getting beaten and bruises all over! Haha...  I am happy to bear the pain for my sweet son. Back, hips, tail bone, sciatic nerve, restless legs, numb legs, tired legs, rib pain and bruising, and the poor pubis bone getting mashed ...    and at the end of the day, I'm so proud I made it another day. I do all I can to keep myself strong.

I've been asked by so many people what work out I do as a prego. It's really much of the same stuff I've always done in my classes. Some people would consider my routine a "boot camp" but for me.. its relaxing and more associated with Pilates (my favorite).  So- want my routine? Here it is...

10 kegals, 10 push ups, 10 dips
10 kegals, 10 squats, 10 back extensions
10 kegals, 10 glut extensions (donkey kick), 10 glut extensions (squish spider)
10 kegals , 10 squats, 10 cat/camel
10 ketals, 10 squats, 10 toe chop (pilates, google it) 
10 kegals, 10 squats, 10 calf raises
10 kegals, 10 push ups, 10 fire hydrant (side hip lift)


The list LOOKS long but only because I break it up into 10s. Honestly, it's a tiny workout and it goes by fast. I normally do that whole thing twice. Although fatigue is impossible to escape, I have still felt strong throughout pregnancy. I've had a lol of sickness, true... and pain and exhaustion... but still... I feel great to keep moving and make/keep a body that can handle labor (well enough). Right?!  :)

I am a firm believer in being prepared! If I get to deliver normally, I think I can do it well! If we have to have a c-section for any reason, my preparation won't be to waste. It will help me to recover quicker :)  I have recently learned about the ugly truths that I'll get to deal with AFTER baby comes (as if D-day isn't bad enough right?) At first... I was devastated. Kade came home and saw me BAWLING on the couch. I was just... ANGRY that we poor women have to pee our selves, and loose all our hair, and get fat feet, and hemorrhoids, and bleed for 6 weeks, and then the back/hip pain doesn't go away - all of that AFTER baby is delivered.
....and then I thought more about it.... and it really does make sense.... My body is going to do the COOLEST most amazing achievement ever ever, so OF COURSE it's going to need some time to heal. I truly am amazed at what we can do. What a person can DO! Go through labor, rip yourself in two, be recovering for 6+ weeks WHILE giving all your time and energy to this tiny new little human. I am so excited to see what I CAN DO! I am excited!

Yes the misery of the home stretch IS enough to make me WANT to rip myself in two, to get baby HERE already! :)  I am excited to see what will work out for us, and I hope to have the sanity to handle what may not work out for us (like how breastfeeding doesn't always work out for everyone, I understand).

I am so dang lucky to have Kade right here with me. He has REALLY taken care of me and has been 100% understanding of everything I go through. Kade has given me his attention, his time, his love and sympathy, and his whole capacity of patience.  :)  We have had some fun learning all the things about pregnancy and birth together. Although he is a little squeamish when it comes to blood, he has a good head on his shoulders when it comes to comprehending what is going on and what happens next.

The progression is coming along... we still have 16 days till due date, but doctor says we won't make it to due date. I'm up 34lbs. I'm already dilated to 2 centimeters and effaced 80%. Carter is in centered position. I have already sloughed off the mucous plug from the cervix. I have contractions hourly. Contractions you feel on the back side have started too (man those hurt). I will be checked again to see how the cervix is coming along, in 4 days. We are seriously ready. Bag is packed. Everything is IN the car, and I JUST finished preregistering at the hospital.

C'MON CARTER!!! :)  Kade has commented EVERYDAY for the past month about how excited he is to finally meet our little guy! I am just dying to SEE what he looks like! :)

OH - AND WE GOT HIS HALLOWEEN COSTUME!!!! :D Can't wait to show everyone :)
Anyone who wants to visit us, bring chocolate :) haha
love you all

Third Trimester

Now to the point we're counting down instead of counting UP. ...8 weeks and 5 days till Due Date!

Carter Michael Tolman is due Oct 19. We're hoping he comes early :)
Kade's sister is getting married Nov 23 so I am REALLY hoping that baby comes sooner so I can be pretty much healed at the wedding and not be super fat :(

Pregnancy has been.... an experience!
I count my blessings everyday! I am not sick 24/7 anymore. Baby moves ALL the time! I love feeling him squirm and kick and have hiccups haha :) so so cute! I still cant hold down any supplements. My body just wont have it. But I last the whole work day alright. I do best I can to drink a lot and eat often. The heartburn isn't very fun... also incredible hip pain at night... not able to sleep much... belly hurts, cant breathe, I pee when I sneeze, smells make me gag, back hurts all the time... . But again- I do the best I can and I make it one day at a time :)

Kade is the biggest blessing in my life! The MOST wonderful husband! The BEST remedy of all these "fun" symptoms. He helps me out with all the many little things that are hard to do no. He puts my shoes on and off, does a lot of dishes and laundry, helps me roll over in bed, constantly offers fetches me a drink or snack, rubs my feet and back, and helps me in and out of the Jeep :) Kade never has to be asked, he's SUCH a dutiful husband. I love him so so very much for all he does for me!

I hear people tell me "you're so small!" and all I can think is "sure, sure... and then there's this BASKETBALL here, did you miss that?" hahahah I have had days where my ring doesn't fit because I'm swollen, but all in all, I'm doing pretty good at not gaining more than needed weight. I'm up 20 lbs already! Crazy....

I hope Carter looks just like Kade! :D  Rich brown eyes and dimples! awwwwww
I am so lucky to have great family and friends who are throwing me showers! :) Thank you my loving family and friends! I can't wait for you all to meet our little man .... GOLLY its coming soon! I'm trying to decide on a costume for Halloween! :)

ITS A BOY!

Valentine's Day 2013..... we were surprised to find out that a baby was coming to us :) Due Oct 25

We celebrated our 3rd anniversary last week (April 30) by doing fancy dinner and finding out that our baby is a BOY!! :) Such a great anniversary :) Kade was GIDDY at the revelation of baby's gender :) Kade surprised me with paint for baby's room! Teal, white and cream :) Best anniversary ever!

Today (5/9/13) I'm 16 weeks. I already have a little belly and its ridiculous! haha! I've already gained 8 inches on my waist! My pants dont button up anymore... when i look down I cant see my my zipper or knees or hipbones anymore :( haha ... the nausea is slowly slowly slowly going away. Mostly just mornings now i just vomit once a day and then I'm done (as long as i eat every hour). My belly is SO tight! Weirdest feelign ever! The tendons near the bottom of my pelvis are so sensitive. My allergies are in ful flare and I sneeze at least 30x a day - OUCH!  haha

Kade thinks my little belly is adorable :) he holds me all the time, hand on belly :) its just adorable. I REALLY thought it was a girl.... I've finally wrapped my brain around the fact that... I dont get any cute headbands or dresses (and that i dont get to use MY baby blessing dress on my daughter). He IS a boy and NOW I am gettign excited about it! Little hats and cowboy boots! He'll have little gubbies to work on the jeep w/ daddy in the garage :)   hehe cute!!!!  He will pass on the Tolman name! Kade's dad has no brothers so there arent any other Tolmans in our family... I am super excited to have a four-generation pic of my boys :)  We arent sure of his name yet. We like two... one is unique and if flows easily... but the other is adorable and wont require any explanation of spelling or pronunciation.  We'll see...

I have forsaken chocolate. WHAT?! ya for real... all i want is fruity and sour :) haha its funny! Winco is my bff (bulk candy) :) haha! I sleep 9-12 hours a night. No stretch marks yet. My sister is visiting in June-July so we're going to have a shower while she's here :)  All the pregnancy symptoms are prevelant now. I still teach 4 classes a week at the gym, I just can't do ALL of it myself. Its the COOLEST feeling to feel this HUGE amount of blood pumping through my body. I feel like I'm aware of it as much as a vampire would be. As a fitness junkie, I like it :) Spinning makes me feel like a warrior! My super power nose is the most hatefuly part of all this. Worse than vomiting is smelling somthign that makes me feel like i'd rather be vomiting than smell this aweful stench! ... the stale coffee pot at work, the tire smell on kade after work, milk, dog's breath, cigarettes, fish... PUKE